Conflict & Repair
Reflect on how you pursue, defend, smooth over or step back during disagreement.
What happens when tension rises?
Read your response to disagreement before planning a repair.
- Pressing for closureScored from your answers
- Going quietScored from your answers
- Explaining your sideScored from your answers
A question worth asking.
A pause can support a repair conversation when it includes a way back. Explore the difference between taking time to think and leaving the issue unresolved.
“In a recent disagreement, what would have helped both people know when to return to the conversation?”
Before you begin
After 12 questions, see how you tend to respond when a conversation becomes tense and a specific way to propose a pause or repair.
There are no right answers. Use the result as a starting point for reflection and keep the parts that are useful in your own circumstances.
4 themes, seen together.
- Pressing for closureLeaving an issue open may be uncomfortable enough that you keep pushing for an answer. A clear return agreement can make a pause feel less like abandonment.
- Going quietStepping away can give you room to think. Without an explanation, it can also leave the other person uncertain about whether the conversation will continue.
- Explaining your sideYou may clarify your intentions quickly when you feel criticized. There can still be something worth hearing about how the situation affected another person.
- Smoothing it overYou may ease tension by agreeing or apologizing before you have said what matters to you. A quieter conversation can still leave an unresolved issue.
Know what the result can say.
An original 12-item reflection on responses during ordinary disagreement. It is not the Thomas-Kilmann instrument, a Gottman assessment, or a measure of relationship health. It reflects your own reports, not the other person’s intentions.
12 questions are scored from your answers. The result describes this set of responses; it is not a fixed identity or a comparison with everyone else.
What happens next?
- Choose the experience and answer at your own pace.
- Read the result and compare it with a real situation.
- Keep one question or practice that helps you act.